As the saying goes, “much is expected of him whom much is given, and much more is expected of him whom much more is given”. Haven said so, you’d realise there’s high level of expectations from any benefactor to a beneficiary, especially in a situation where an achieved success is involved.
Some people invest in others because they want to reap the fruit of their investment in the latter, and achieving success through a benefactor makes one a beneficiary, and thus indebted to the benefactor in one way or the other, some benefactors wouldn’t expect you to pay them back that which was given to you, but some will intend to control some areas of your life because they feel you are indebted to them, because they made you who you are.
As difficult as the society is fast becoming, especially in Africa, it’s quite rare to see someone that succeeds without a helping hand or a hand-up, which is one of the reasons our African political sectors are clouded with godfatherism, and these political godfathers in return tends to control a person’s political activities once installed into power. That is because, it took their resources to get you there.
‘Working your way up without aid’, doesn’t mean in return you can’t give it back to the society, like giving others a hand-up with the presumption that no one gave you a hand-up, no. Rather it keeps you free from the emotional blackmail of others, who when achieved success is involved, tends to control every areas of your life, most especially in always reminding you what was done for you. How they did it for you and so on, not considering the fact that you might not have so much to give.
Rather to work your way up without aid, and be free from emotional blackmail of others, your goodwill will be solemnly on the need of building others, which is birthed from your struggle in succeeding without support, but not because of the expectations from what was giving to you during the struggle.
Irrespective of the fact that a ‘tree can never make a forest’, which implies you need others to succeed, yet, you can still succeed without aid depends on how you make your plans and your level of determination. There are some people that wouldn’t dare to take a risk in life without getting others involved. Their ability to succeed is entrusted to the support of others, which in return enslaves them to the wish of those supporters.
I wouldn’t be writing this if I got a hand-up to be where I am today. In fact the only help I got as migrant that was stranded in the street of Cape Town, was from a Nigerian producer who I met in a film set where I was featured as an extra, he was a featured actor in the movie, after explaining my situations to him, he gave me his number and asked me to contact him.
After some days I went to his office and he offered to assist me in any way he could, he enrolled me into CityVarsity and paid a fee for a three months course, but before the three months could finish, I was involved in office misconduct which was as a result of my migration problem, born out of my quest to legalize my stay in the country as I only came with a visitor’s visa which was the only category I could afford, with intention of extending it here.
The three months visa was fast running out and he paid for three months course which I might not finish at the expiration of my visa. Knowing fully well that he wasn’t the one that brought me to the country, and was only helping me, I couldn’t have asked for more regards the extention of my visa.
I met a woman online who offered to help me, I was still new in the country and because of the fear of being deported, I was ready to do anything, when the woman visited the office, she asked to use the lady’s corner, as I was coming out from showing her the toilet, my sponsor, whom I call boss and big brother walked in. Despite my explanation to him that nothing happened in the toilet, he regarded it as office misconduct and showed me the way out.
Worse still I was in the first month of the course which was not fully paid for, I felt like the world had ended for me. I stopped attending classes, channeled all my energies in apologies to him, for months I was going to his office kneeling and begging for forgiveness of something I didn’t do.
But that was the end, he never accepted me back. Today I could have been writing and praising him for giving me a bright future, but he abandoned me when I needed him the most. I was caught between the devil and the deep blue sea.
“Better not to help a person, that to abandon a person on the process of help”. I found myself starting all over again. The three months course finished and others got their certificates.
It dawned on me that I’m alone on the journey of success, and “that certificate I must get it”, I said to myself. I started writing assignments for university students at any amount they could pay me, I joined those selling pirated Cd’s, I sold fireworks during Christmas period, sold ice cream and bompie, I went weeks without food. I was tattered like a mad man.
But I knew the struggle wouldn’t last forever, after few months I save up the amount that could see me through a year course which I did months to months, and today I’m a certified scriptwriter.
On the struggle, I still met those that offered to help, but I rejected every kind of help offered to me because I realise destiny doesn’t want me to be indebted to anybody.
Now anything I offere to the society, I do it because I see a need in doing it and not because I’m indebted or controlled by people that made me what I am. I became what I want to be because of my high level of determination and focus, coupled with faith and constant prayer.
You can be anything you want to be without being indebted to anybody except you want a hand-out or hand-up, because you are afraid to stand alone, take a risk or start small.
I even applied for a working visa which is taking two years now, but wether legal or illegal I’m not afraid of being deported again. I’m a certificate solar technician.
I obtained two certificates, that going back to Nigeria empty handed is no longer a fear for me because I’ve learn to survive the hard way.