Societal Abuse Of Marriage

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Marriage is far beyond getting married and making children, there’s something called ‘building a home’, so for those that are ready to settle down, if you know you ain’t ready to build a home then do yourself a little good and don’t rush in because you ain’t ripe for marriage. Building a home is more than just providing for the family or cooking.

‘Marriage’ as the legal union of a man and a woman to create family ties. In our society today, most people are fast jumping into this marriage in order to create the family ties, but only few people remains married on this process of creating family ties.

Some quickly rush out or get divorced on the process, why? Does it mean there were not ready for it or were they forced into it? Let’s find out why only few people remain married after some years of building family ties.

Since its a man that steps out to marry a woman, that makes the man the CEO of the marriage, in as much as they both own the marriage. But the man is mostly the one that proposes and appears like an employer in the marriage, and the woman appears like an employee.

In marriage, a woman is meant to be as a helper or assistant to the man. That makes the man the principal caretaker of the marriage.

And for the above reason of a man being the principal caretaker of the marriage, some women misconceives the real meaning of it, thus believing in marriage it is the duty of the man to always provide for them and take care of their everyday needs.

Though not every woman, because some women are the bread winners in their homes as some men doesn’t know their responsibilities as family men.

But for the women that misconceives the real meaning of marriage and a man being the principal caretaker, and such women hardly last in marriage because their reason of getting in varies from what they are seeing in return, otherwise known as marriage. And that’s because they didn’t make themselves ready before going into it.

When one thinks in marriage, it’s the duty of a man to take care of her and pay her every day bills, and the man also thinks it’s the duty of the woman to support him and also assist in paying the bills.

Now the ideologies of marriage differs from people, thus everyone’s thinking is not the same in the issues of marriage.

*Some want to get married because others or their friends are getting married
*Some because they are tired of living in their parents house and wants to be regarded as somebody’s wife
*Some because they want to legally bear children
*Some because they want to experience what marriage is all about.

Only but a few people goes the extra miles to equip themselves before getting married, to avoid not lasting in marriage or getting divorced on the process of building family ties.

Now how do one get ready for marriage? First,  one have to asks oneself if one is really ready for the commitment. Because marriage is commitment and not everyone is ready for this commitment.

Some still want to enjoy their freedom without control from another person, but in marriage one must surely get controlled in one way or the other, especially when one goes contrary to what one’s partner desires.

What are you bringing to the table? Some men and woman can only offer sex and no other potential to drive a positive outcome in the marriage, because they have less or no idea how marriage works.

Marriage is far beyond having sex: In marriage in as much as sex is legal and beyond the control of people from external factors, like parents. Yet, one can’t just go into marriage for the purpose of sex without having anything to present to the table in order to remain married.

Time have passed when a man marries a woman just to take care of her and always pamper her like a baby, now every man wants a woman who can also assist in running the family regards bills. No man wants a woman who will be like a liability to him. Likewise a woman, no woman wants a man who can only satisfy her sexually without being man enough in paying bills.

That means there are bills to be paid in marriage and not just enjoyment.

Now you as a young man and young lady aspiring to get married, what is the capability of your marital potential in being a family man or woman?

When  a man marries a woman for the purpose of having a helper only to find out he married a liability, what do you think will happen? The marriage will crash!

When a woman marries a man for the purpose of having a partner who can take care of her, and discovers she only married a sex machine that doesn’t assist her in anywhere except in bed. What will happen? She will eventually walk away, because there are many men outside there with high sexual capacity and still willing to pay her bills.

And if you both can manage it now without children, how much more when children are involved?

Marriage is beyond having children:
Children being the major reason for marriage in most cases, yet having children can’t keep one married if one doesn’t have what it takes to remain married.

Some people gets divorced even after having two to three kids. So it’s not just about making children. But it’s about one being ready for it both;

Mentally: Your mindset have to accept the fact that you are becoming one’s partner and thus, compromising steps in. How ready are you to compromise in your personal rules in order to accommodate another person? In marriage one has to break some certain personal rules that wouldn’t accommodate one’s partner. Like, staying out late, constant partying, keeping numerous friends and so on, there lots of compromise in marriage and one’s mind have to be ready for it.

Physically: Do you still appear and behave like a single person whereas you are becoming somebody’s partner? No partner wants to get married to a person he or she will start nurturing like a baby, you’ve being groomed by your parents and thus matured now and that’s why you getting married, because you believe you are matured for it. Thus, your behaviour should portray your maturity, don’t give your proposed the impression that you still have to undergo some trainings upon marriage. No one have such time to be training a grown adult. Training is for babies.

Spiritually: Marriage is a a very spiritual thing and thus should be handled spiritually a times, are you ready for the spiritual battle? In marriage lots of challenges do come up, like from your in laws, your partner’s ex’s and most times in a case where one is getting married to a partner that have been around, if you understand what I mean, you’ll get fights from the ex’s because some will refuse to be dumped after being used, and once they hear, “he or she is getting married”, they can even bring fights to your door steps and if one is not spiritually strong, one might give up. So one needs to be prayerful in order to fight the battles that evolves around marriage.

Financially: How do you intend to financially sustain your marriage, or you only bringing sex to the table? Sex can work but slowly the desire fades when expenditure steps in. And one must be ready to work one’s ass out when it comes to financially sustaining a marriage especially when kids are involved. Some women that truly loves their non working husband, and yet they don’t have the finance, but will end up cheating on the man in order to raise money. But what’s the essence of cheating to get money to run a home, and how long will the cheating continue? That shows you both weren’t ready financially but wants to get married.

Marriage is not a do or die affair, no one will point a gun to your head if you don’t get married, inseam of marrying and divorcing sooner, is better not to be married. Except one is divorcing for marital infidelity, else to me, divorce means not being sure of what a person wants from the onset.

Before you consider marriage, you should also consider other factors of it that can keep or break it. So you don’t waste your time building castle on the air.

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